I’ve never considered myself to be a feminist yet if I’m greeted with restrictions due to my gender or faced with a sexist pig of a man, I will fight for women’s rights.
At home I’m the breadwinner, I’m career focused, in control and my husband is a househusband. This role reversal sees my husband cleaning, cooking and looking after the three children while I work sixty hours a week in an office. You could say I’ve taken the male role while he’s taken the female lead.
I am strong willed and strong minded and like to be treated as equally as a man, yet there’s where my hypocrisy begins, as in romance and in the bedroom I’d happily throw feminism out of the window so I could become a damsel in distress.
The recent release of 50 Shades of Grey has got a lot of knickers in a twist. Is Christian degrading Ana? Is it all about control? Is it about gender at all? Should we really be hankering after a man that has enough money for a personal helicopter or should we be making sure we earn our own?
What is Feminism?
Feminism is different to many, when asking our readers I received many different responses. Some believe it’s being objectified as a sexual object by men, others believe it’s being treated differently due to gender. The latter probably covers it all.
For me, feminism is about being seen as the weaker sex, about having less opportunities because of gender or somehow being made to feel inferior to men. Personally, in the UK, I do think we have a good grip on feminism and men that don’t treat women as equals simply look stupid and uneducated rather than right. Of course, around the world it is a different matter, and women are still being abused due to their gender. This is obviously no laughing matter, and I really don’t want to make light of these plights, I sign the petitions and do what I can but for the sake of this tongue in cheek article, following from the furor that is the Grey and Steel scandal, I would like to put this aside for a moment in the bedroom.
I’ll admit it, in the bedroom, I love being objectified.
Loving the Lady Life
Despite being strong and capable there’s something quite reassuring about being treated like a lady. I adore the thought of being protected, being taken care of and being treated like a delicate flower at times. I love it when men open my car door, pull out chairs, take my coat and tend to my every whim as it simply makes me feel feminine.
My grandmother, the lady that taught me all about the birds and the bees, once gave me some relationship advice that goes against every feminism view. My grandma was a dirty old bird that loved to ogle young men from her mobility scooter while racing her ex-husband (my granddad) up and down the prom.
She was a lady with an acid tongue and one that ruled with an iron fist yet she told me that to keep a man you must show him you need him. For example, let him do the DIY, and act a little thick pretending you’ve no clue how to use a hammer and a nail.
At first I thought this was ludicrous and fought against it, but when I tried it (which wasn’t hard as I’m hopeless at DIY) my husband told me it made him feel wanted and indispensable. It seems regardless of evolution we do have inbuilt needs that depend on our sex.
How Fantasy turns Reality on its Head
I’ve found that it’s not just me that adores a fantasy in the bedroom that completely opposes reality, my career driven friends do too. They love it when their partner takes complete control, smothering them with gentle kisses as if they were made of delicate china and tending to their every desire. It seems that these women become the complete opposite when the sexy lingerie is on or their bodies are laid bare which is perfectly understandable as the differences are there staring you in the face.
There’s nothing quite as sexy as a man with a plan, one that oozes confidence and makes love to you as if you’re the most precious object in the world.
What Does Feminism Mean to You?
I do believe that all feminists must let go a little in the bedroom, otherwise how would the two way partnership work? Of course it depends on what feminism means to you. Some feminists think wearing a bra or sexy lingerie is giving men what they want while being degrading for women, which seems such a shame. Others go a little further by believing they’re consorting with the enemy if they enjoy sex with a man while some take their gender roles into the bedroom becoming the dominant to his submissive and occasionally killing the mood in the meantime.
It must be quite confusing for a man, not knowing if a stroke of a breast will be viewed as taking advantage of womanly curves. Being worried about adoring the female form unless he’s seen as being a pervert.
How Feminism Works in the Bedroom
Personally, as a half-hearted feminist I do believe that it has done wonders for women in the bedroom. I remember a few of my mum’s friends telling me they’d never had an orgasm as their husbands didn’t even understand how to give one. Luckily that’s not a problem in today’s day and age. Feminism has ensured that everyone woman has a man that at least shows potential and I’m a great believer in the non-feminist mantra that ladies come first.
I Don’t Want to be Equal in the Bedroom
I’m the perfect hypocrite as I don’t want to be equal in the bedroom, I believe a man should be the strongest, the one with the moves, the one who knows how to please beyond measure. I also believe he should pay for the first date and make a woman feel feminine, gorgeous and one of a kind.
It’s obvious I’m a little confused as I want it all, do you?
