Ever since Ferris Bueller’s Day Off I’ve loved Charlie Sheen. His roles, his comedic timing, his ability to portray anguish, despair and love. His incredible good looks and his rise to fame in the nineties meant he was on my teenage list of men I would like to marry someday.
When the documentary, AKA Charlie Sheen, landed on Netflix I rejoiced. Charlie has been open about his life long before it became fashionable on TikTok and Facebook to explain every move. He’s always been forthcoming, accessible, approachable and this documentary seemed to scream that there was much more we needed to know. Let’s cut it up into parts.
Charlie’s Early Life and the Super 8 Videos
Charlie grew up not only with an acting legend as a father but also with friends, such as George Clooney, Sean Penn and of course, his brother Emilio Estevez in his everyday life. This was the norm for Charlie, a group of extremely confident boys and men who were extremley good looking, part of the rat pack and destined to be famous one day. Despite the infamy and lifestyle, Charlie’s childhood and teenage years were riddled with the same angst most of us feel. The sibling arguments, the start of romantic relationships, the experimentation of alcohol and drugs and Charlie breezed through it all, seemingly, to friends, with a hidden lucky charm that would give him exactly what he wanted, when he wanted it.
Those Super 8 videos deserve a full documentary of their own. That insider look into the minds of these Hollywood greats as they prepare for adulthood is something that should be documented for the history books. The talent, already, plain to see with each one of them. The passion in which they approached each fantasy role, the fervour with which they performed. These should be shown in drama classes across the globe. However, I digress.
In my mind these videos highlighted the path that was already set in stone for Charlie. Be as good as, or better than, those that surround you or else watch from the sidelines as everyone else gets the girl, the perks, the money, the lifestyle. Of course, Charlie would probably never be pore claiming welfare, but he would be constantly reminded of the life he would be missing out on, maybe adopting a role as a sidekick, if he hadn’t pursued an acting career of his own.
Then, of course, there’s the legend to live up to, Martin Sheen. The sibling rivalry as Emilio rose to fame, the internal competitive voice that seeks parental approval and believes the only way you’ll win it is if you are more successful than your brother. This is my psychology head speaking, Charlie did not divulge these thoughts in the documentary, but as I listened to all the revelations I couldn’t help but think, “Is that it?”
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Where is the Why?
As Charlie won acting part after acting part, as his success began to grow, there was one glaringly obvious fact that preceded Charlie’s wanton destruction of himself. His need to escape his own thoughts. Many people dabble with drugs on a night out, maybe for years, maybe even after they’ve had 2.4 children and a happy life but they don’t let the drugs take over. Addicts constantly chase that better high, the first high, addicts can’t imagine a life without drugs as their crutch, and they don’t want to. The drugs replace something missing, the drugs fill a void, and this is what I believe was missing from Charlie’s documentary. The void. He didn’t really touch on the why. He talked about how, when, where, who with, but not so much of the why. That’s where my theories come in. These are not solidified. These are not rumours. These are purely my thoughts with an expertise in psychology, my theories on what the why is as I try to join the dots of the heavily edited but purely digestible documentary that is AKA Charlie Sheen.
What Charlie Says
In his documentary, Charlie brushes over the Why as a feeling of having everything handed to him on a plate but not feeling deserving of it. That’s as deep as we get to the why. My question is, why didn’t he feel he was deserving of it? It’s clear, throughout, that he has huge adoration for his father. His mum isn’t mentioned much, maybe out of respect, but the love that exists in that family is enviable, joyful, incredible, pure and raw. From brothers to aunts, parents to close friends, the support network is huge. Very little judgement just a shared common goal of keeping Charlie healthy and alive. Maybe the inadequate feelings came from watching his father perform on Apocalypse Now and wrongly believing that he would never reach that level of artistry? Yet I’m not sure ego was getting in the way of Charlie living a clean life.
My Theories on the Why
In my experience almost all addictions are formed as a result of trauma, of PTSD. A feeling of not being worthy. A paranoia that anytime soon everyone else will realise what a charlatan you are. The iconic imposter syndrome. These feelings generally imprint in early years or early adulthood which makes me think that Charlie omitted something absolutely monumental to his entire life, way of thinking and need for destruction.
Although, there’s the other theory. A lot of addicts choose drugs in order to regulate the brain. For those with ADHD they give focus (for a time), they quell anxiety, they quieten the bipolar rages. Charlie touched on bipolar in his documentary but never divulged if he’d ever been diagnosed with any mental illness (addiction aside) in all his years of therapy. With labels being handed out like free gummy bears these days there’s no doubt one therapist would have touched on the idea that he may have used drugs to silence the chaos in his brain. It’s not my place to theorise about his mental health though.
Why Charlie is Not a Narcissist
The most overwhelming theme of the entire documentary was love. Charlie maintains great relationships with his ex wives and all of his children. This shows me that his destructive behaviour was only ever directed at himself. The arguments ensuing through a need to make the man they love see the damage he’s doing to his own body and mind. It doesn’t seem like he ever projected his hatred for himself onto his wives, or children, as so many do. Instead he internalised it all, and shut people out, preferring to deal with his own personal hell, alone.
He didn’t bring anyone down with his ship, and that is why Charlie Sheen is not a narcissist. His tantrums developed as a way to stop others from stopping him. His sex addiction obviously caused problems, but even then, he didn’t fall in love on the side, he wasn’t sneaky, didn’t gaslight, didn’t make the women he was with feel as if they were going mad. He just fed his addiction and sought out oblivion without any thought to the self inflicted damage he was doing to himself.
Charlie’s Angels
Whatever the secret, if there is one, whatever drove Charlie to self destruct time and time again, it’s clear that it’s now in the past. Sure, it creates some cool stories to tell the grandkids, but maybe that’s what this was. Charlie putting the rumour mill to bed in order to move forward with whatever comes next.
It’s abundantly clear that anyone who meets Charlie Sheen, or lives with him, falls in love with him and never falls out of love. Denise Richards has stood by his side for many years, even taking in his new children, in order to support him, to see him get better. She’s an absolute angel and if it was true that a good woman’s love could cure a man of anything, Charlie would have come clean a long time ago. She’s astounding in this, someone with such beauty, also displaying care, love and humility, during times when her heart must have been breaking in half. She’s amazing.
His second wife too, still with her struggles, honest about her addiction, yet joining Charlie’s circle meant, not judgement, but a whole family by her side to help her, in whichever way they can, to overcome her problems, to be a great mum to the children they share. Even Denise supports her, Charlie talks of her with the utmost respect, others discuss her with love in their hearts, it’s almost overwhelming.
Then, his dealer, dropping the dose, the concentration, to wean Charlie off without his knowledge. The scariest aspect of drug addiction to an addict is withdrawals. Very few addicts have the self control to very gradually cut their dose until their body doesn’t scream for it anymore. The fact that Charlie’s friends did this for him prove, without a doubt, that he is definitely worth saving. That he is reaping what he’s sowed. While he may have sowed chaos and ramblings for a very short time, for the most part he sowed love and friendship, acceptance and non judgement, an open house, an open heart and that’s what we should realise when we look back on his past.
The Part I Loved the Most of AKA Charlie Sheen
There were many stand out moments from the show, the care emanating from Sean Penn’s wise words, (he’s still absolutely gorgeous by the way), the respect for each other, the way Charlie wants to be the one his own kids depend on now they’re getting older yet there was one stand out moment for me. This moment gave me my first belly laugh of the day, while I also punched the air and shouted, “You Go Charlie!” I was so proud of the character I’ve grown up with, so pleased that he used his massive platform to share this message, and so happy that he’d flicked off any shame like flicking dandruff from a blazer’s shoulder.
It was his words as he discussed his sexual past (which is really no one’s business but his own), he summed everything up so perfectly. His life, his car crashes, his firings, his lack of control over substances. “So What?”
What a Free Charlie Does Next?
Who knows where life will take Charlie next. Hopefully he has enough in the bank to enjoy his life for a while, his family, his grandchildren, his friends and parents. I hope he doesn’t spend his life trying to make amends as it seems he’s been apologising his whole life. If he does come back on our screens I’d love to see him in a Hollywood blockbuster that uses every ounce of the talent we know him to have. This is why success came so easy, he was born with an insane talent that connected audiences, made people forget their own shitty lives for just a few minutes and kept us all entertained for decades.
What are your thoughts on the Charlie Sheen documentary? Did you fall in love with him all over again like we did? Let us know in the comments below, open for one week only.