Your disability doesn’t show weakness, it shows strength. To the right person it is a bonus as it gives them so much information about you from the outset on how you cope with life’s adversities, how you tackle problems and how these affect your personality. It may make you feel vulnerable, afterall, you may feel you have to declare it but your disability doesn’t define you. In most cases, the person you’re talking to won’t care a jot about what holds you back, they just want to know you, for you. However there can be occasional obstacles and so we chatted to someone with a disability to find tips to help along the way. This is what they had to say…
Dating with a disability doesn’t have to be daunting and you may wonder if it will play apart in your dates mind, however if you’ve been open and honest throughout your communication, your date is here to see you, to get to know you and hopefully form a lasting friendship and maybe more.
Many celebrities have learned that tapping into their emotional intelligence is key for succeeding and appearing beautiful on the inside as well as out, so as long as you attend with confidence and high self-esteem you’re bound to blow your date away and the disability will not be a factor at all.
Here are some simple tips to bear in mind on that first meeting:
It’s boring, but it has to be done – stay safe.
There are many websites out there for the disabled to use to find a date, and whilst most offer a discreet and personal service that’s high on personal security there’s bound to be a few strange ones that slip through the net. Make sure you tell someone where you’re going, what time you’ll be back, and if you’ve planned an overnight stay, don’t reveal the hotel. Save that for the third date!
Be Yourself
There’s nothing worse than being on a date with someone who is so shy with themselves they think it’s best to try and big it up and pretend to be someone they’re not. First dates are all about being you. You’ve probably communicated through email or met before, so there is absolutely nothing to hide, yet if you falsify information you’ll look like a phony.
Pick a subject
As internet dating can be quite revealing and we can disclose more of ourselves over emails than we do face to face, it may be quite nerve wracking meeting this person you’ve confided in for the last few weeks. Go armed with a list of questions if you’re nervous, their favourite hobby, films, food, and let them do the talking. Everyone loves a good listener.
Leave everything else behind
If you have children and this is a rare night off, mention them but don’t make the date about them. Your date has turned up to find out more about you and what makes you tick, not how great a parent you are. If all goes well they’ll be lots of time for that in the future.
Split the bill
Most women are happy to split the bill these days, however if your date doesn’t look like she’s reaching for her purse, if you’re a man you should foot the bill. She probably isn’t being rude, she may declare that the next date is on her. Regardless of the situation a first date isn’t the time to talk about money issues. If you’re female, it’s only polite to offer to pay half, even if he tells you to put the money away.
Have Good Manners
Manners maketh the man and the woman! Quite simply keep an eye on your body language, crossing arms is very defensive, and use your P’s and Q’s. Don’t lick the plate no matter how scrummy the meal, and if you’re male, go back to tradition by taking her coat, letting her be served first and opening doors. Women may have come a long way since these traditions began but secretly we still love it!
Leave with a plan.
Finally, leave with a, ”I’ll call you tomorrow,” or “We’ll meet again next Friday,” so you both know where you stand. There’s nothing worse than waiting three days for that phone call and thinking, “Did I say I’d call him or vice versa?”
Above all, enjoy yourself!
